PastorRodney’s Weblog

Preaching from the Pulpit of Ephraim Church of the Bible

1 Corinthians 7:1-5; The Marriage Debt

10/27 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 The Marriage Debt;Audio available at: http://www.ephraimbible.org/Sermons/20131027_1cor7_1-5.mp3

1Cor 7 [SBLGNT]

1 Περὶ δὲ ὧν ἐγράψατε, καλὸν ἀνθρώπῳ γυναικὸς μὴ ἅπτεσθαι· 2 διὰ δὲ τὰς πορνείας ἕκαστος τὴν ἑαυτοῦ γυναῖκα ἐχέτω, καὶ ἑκάστη τὸν ἴδιον ἄνδρα ἐχέτω. 3 τῇ γυναικὶ ὁ ἀνὴρ τὴν ὀφειλὴν ἀποδιδότω, ὁμοίως δὲ καὶ ἡ γυνὴ τῷ ἀνδρί. 4 ἡ γυνὴ τοῦ ἰδίου σώματος οὐκ ἐξουσιάζει ἀλλὰ ὁ ἀνήρ· ὁμοίως δὲ καὶ ὁ ἀνὴρ τοῦ ἰδίου σώματος οὐκ ἐξουσιάζει ἀλλὰ ἡ γυνή. 5 μὴ ἀποστερεῖτε ἀλλήλους, εἰ μήτι ἂν ἐκ συμφώνου πρὸς καιρὸν ἵνα σχολάσητε τῇ προσευχῇ καὶ πάλιν ἐπὶ τὸ αὐτὸ ἦτε, ἵνα μὴ πειράζῃ ὑμᾶς ὁ Σατανᾶς διὰ τὴν ἀκρασίαν ὑμῶν. 6 τοῦτο δὲ λέγω κατὰ συγγνώμην, οὐ κατ’ ἐπιταγήν. 7 θέλω δὲ πάντας ἀνθρώπους εἶναι ὡς καὶ ἐμαυτόν· ἀλλὰ ἕκαστος ἴδιον ἔχει χάρισμα ἐκ θεοῦ, ὁ μὲν οὕτως, ὁ δὲ οὕτως. 8 Λέγω δὲ τοῖς ἀγάμοις καὶ ταῖς χήραις, καλὸν αὐτοῖς ἐὰν μείνωσιν ὡς κἀγώ· 9 εἰ δὲ οὐκ ἐγκρατεύονται, γαμησάτωσαν, κρεῖττον γάρ ἐστιν γαμῆσαι ἢ πυροῦσθαι.

1Cor 7 [ESV2011]

1 Corinthians 6:16 Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” 17 But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. 18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

7:1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

The gospel has implications on all of life. Paul preached Christ crucified, and this message of the cross was, to those who were being called, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. The cross has implications on every area of life. The gospel message is God’s wisdom to make sense of all of life and his power to live life in such a way as to bring glory to God. A major problem in Corinth, and for us today, is understanding the implications of the gospel of Christ crucified on all of life. Paul, in a very down to earth way, helps them and us to make that connection.

In chapters 1-5 he addresses issues that have been brought to his attention;

1 Corinthians 1:11 For it has been reported to me by Chloe’s people that there is quarreling among you, my brothers.

1 Corinthians 5:1 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you…

In chapter 5:9-13 he clarifies their misunderstanding of his previous communication. “I wrote to you in my letter… not at all meaning…” They took what he had written in a way that was not at all what he had meant so he spells out what he had intended.

In chapter 6, he begins to address slogans that they were using to justify all sorts of evil. ‘All things are lawful for me’ ‘Food is for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy both one and the other’. They may have even been things the apostle had said, or summaries of his teaching, but now they were being used to open the door to practices that have no place among those who claim to be followers of Jesus.

Questions?

Here in chapter 7, he begins to address issues raised by the Corinthians in their correspondence to him. He says;

7:1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote:

He will address five more of these matters in the course of this letter. Here he addresses abstinence, celibacy, and marriage; in 7:25 he says ‘now concerning virgins’; in 8:1 ‘now concerning things offered to idols’; in 12:1 ‘now concerning spiritual gifts’; in16:1 ‘now concerning the collection for the saints’; in 16:12 ‘now concerning Apollos’. We don’t know what kind of letter the Corinthians sent Paul. Maybe they were honest questions that had come up since the apostle had left. Maybe they were hotly debated issues in the church, and they were looking for Paul to settle their disputes. Maybe the letter wasn’t asking questions at all; maybe they were stating their conclusions and seeking to impress Paul, or even correct him. We don’t know. Whatever the nature of their letter, Paul was happy to address each issue. None of these topics were off-limits. Paul was not afraid of questions. He was eager to take the wisdom of God in the foolishness of the cross and apply it to any and all of life’s situations.

Pendulum Swing

The issue they raise here has to do with sexual intimacy. ‘It is good for a man not to touch a woman’ was probably another slogan that some in the Corinthian church tried to enforce. Corinth was an immoral city. Temple prostitutes were available, pornographic images were everywhere, it was not uncommon for people to be married and divorced and remarried and divorced many times over, and it was also not uncommon for those who were married to keep mistresses and have affairs. This had even crept into the church. In chapter 5, Paul addresses the man who was having relations with his step-mom. In chapter 6 he has to tell the church that the body is not meant for sexual immorality, and that it is unthinkable for believers to make use of prostitutes. There is a natural human tendency in this kind of setting to swing the pendulum far in the other direction. All we see, all we hear, all we have experienced is sex being misused and perverted and distorted. Paul has told us to flee pornea; flee sexual immorality; so we will flee from sexual intimacy all together. From this passage it appears that there were some who were over-reacting to their culture and coming to the conclusion that all sex is evil and to be avoided, even within marriage.

Paul warns Timothy that there would be false teachers in the early church who among other things would forbid marriage.

1Timothy 4:1 Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons, 2 through the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared, 3 who forbid marriage and require abstinence from foods that God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth. 4 For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, 5 for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer.

Paul calls this kind of ascetic spirituality a departure from the faith, and the ‘teaching of demons’. God created all things, including marriage, for us to enjoy.

Paul addresses a similar issue in the church in Colossae, where he writes:

Colossians 2:20 If with Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world, why, as if you were still alive in the world, do you submit to regulations— 21 “Do not handle, Do not taste, Do not touch” 22 ( referring to things that all perish as they are used)—according to human precepts and teachings? 23 These have indeed an appearance of wisdom in promoting self-made religion and asceticism and severity to the body, but they are of no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh.

The man-made regulation ‘do not touch’ uses the same word we have in this passage ‘it is good for a man not to touch a woman’. Paul says that this has the appearance of wisdom, but is powerless in the real battle against the indulgence of the flesh. Over-reacting to sin by promoting self-made religion of asceticism and severity to the body can actually make the problem worse, not better.

Strong Medicine for Sick Souls

You say ‘it is good for a man not to touch a woman’; I say no, because of the immoralities, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The remedy for rampant immorality is not a pendulum swing to the other extreme to demand a denial of all bodily pleasure. The remedy is a healthy view of human sexuality as it was designed by God. In the last section, Paul referred to the creation narrative, where God said ‘the two shall become one flesh’. The Corinthians are saying ‘it is good for a man not to touch a woman’. God said ‘it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a helper fit for him” (Gen.2:18). God brought the woman to the man, naked, in paradise, and he blessed them and commanded them to be fruitful and multiply. God said this was good, very good. God intended for the man to touch his wife, and for the wife to touch her husband. Marriage is the appropriate context for human sexuality to find its intended fulfillment. The author of Hebrews says:

Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

Monogamy

Notice, by his language Paul rules out multiple partners. Each man should have his own wife, singular. And each woman should have her own husband, singular. Marriage is the union of one man and one woman for life. This is a God-given shield against the fiery darts of the adversary.

Mutual Obligation

I Corinthians 7:2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

Paul unashamedly uses the language of reciprocal belonging. This is shocking for any first century document, where so often men were free to do as they wished and women had no rights. Paul says that each man should have (the language of possession) his own wife, and that each woman should have (the same language of possession) her own man. This is the language of belonging. We can hear echoes from the Song of Songs.

Song of Solomon 2:16 My beloved is mine, and I am his; he grazes among the lilies.

Song of Solomon 6:3 I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine; he grazes among the lilies.

Song of Solomon 7:10 I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me.

This is the language of reciprocal belonging, of ownership. I am his, I belong to my beloved, and he belongs to me, he is mine. When I enter into the marriage relationship, I give myself to my spouse. I surrender my rights and my independence and voluntarily belong to another. To make sure we understand what this means, Paul spells it out for us.

1 Corinthians 7:3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.

This reflects the language of the Old Testament, where the practice of polygamy was not condoned, but regulated.

Exodus 21:10 If he takes another wife to himself, he shall not diminish her food, her clothing, or her marital rights.

A husband is obligated to provide for his wife’s physical and emotional needs. The language used here is the language of indebtedness. By entering into marriage, he owes her a debt that he must pay. Everything that it means to be a husband; leader, provider, nurturer, instructor, encourager, strength, support, respect, patience, kindness, tenderness, compassion, intimacy, love; to bring her physical and emotional wholeness and completion is his debt to her.

There is no room here for using the other person merely to gratify one’s own desires. The language here is language of giving, not taking. When I focus on what I am owed and demand my rights, things typically do not go well. When I focus on my debt and give sacrificially and gladly to meet the needs of my wife, things tend to go remarkably better.

Intimacy within the marriage is to be perfectly reciprocal. ‘Likewise the wife to her husband’. As the husband owes a debt he is obligated to give to his wife, so the wife is obligated to give to her husband what she owes to him. Honor, encouragement, respect, help, submission to his godly leadership, intimacy, love; to bring him physical and emotional wholeness and completion is her debt to him.

1 Corinthians 7:4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

This was as staggering a statement in the first century Roman world as it is for us today. To say that the husband has authority over would be expected. But to say that the wife has the exact same authority over her husband’s body as he had over hers was revolutionary in Paul’s day. To say that anybody has authority over anybody else’s body is contrary to our culture, but this is exactly what the Bible says. This is the same word that he used in 6:12.

1 Corinthians 6:12 “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by [brought under the authority of] anything.

You are not your own. You were bought with a price. If you are a follower of Jesus, you belong to God, you are under his authority. And if you are married, you body belongs, first to God, and then to your spouse. And then Paul gives a clear command.

Stop Depriving One Another

1 Corinthians 7:5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

This could be translated ‘stop depriving one another’ or ‘stop defrauding one another.’ Celibacy, singleness, and abstinence is a legitimate option for believers, but it is not an option if you are married. The Corinthians tried to sound noble and spiritual; ‘my body is devoted to God; therefore I cannot fulfill my spouse’s base desires’. We simply say ‘I have a headache’ or ‘I’m just not in the mood’. Either way, the results are the same. And Paul calls it robbery. You owe your spouse a debt. Stop defrauding one another. Physical intimacy within the marriage is not dirty or defiling, it’s not a reward for good behavior. It is a good God-given gift, to be enjoyed regularly and frequently. Paul gives us three clear conditions that must be met to ever legitimately deprive one another. It must be by mutual agreement, it must be for a limited time, and it must be for the purpose of the couple devoting themselves to prayer. Paul’s reason is powerful. So that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self control. Paul exhorts us to take up this weapon of God against the onslaught of satanic temptation. This is the wisdom of Proverbs; “rejoice in the wife of your youth… be intoxicated always in her love” (Prov.5:18-19). We are commanded to flee sexual immorality. If you are married, the way you flee is to flee into the arms of your spouse.

Paul has reminded us that we are not our own. As believers in Jesus, we belong to God. We have been bought with a price, with the precious blood of Jesus, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world. Our purpose is to glorify God. We were created to bring honor and praise to God. We were redeemed to worship him. So, glorify God in your body. For a married couple, physical intimacy is a way to glorify God with your body. God intends for you to enjoy his good gifts and give thanks to him in everything. Glorify God in your body.

Pastor Rodney Zedicher ~ Ephraim Church of the Bible ~ www.ephraimbible.org

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October 28, 2013 - Posted by | 1 Corinthians, podcast | , , , , , , , , ,

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